


What do you do if you find a Helicarrier in your bed?

by cognomen



Series: What's the Difference between Tony Stark and a Lawyer...? [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, shortform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-21 11:40:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1549277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cognomen/pseuds/cognomen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Pretty sure those don't go up for a test flight today," Tony observes blandly, from his patio.</p><p> </p><p>A shortform reaction to Cap2, with inspiration from asksciencebros tumblr. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	What do you do if you find a Helicarrier in your bed?

**Author's Note:**

> I was given this as a prompt from the asksciencebros tumblr:  
> http://askthesciencebros.tumblr.com/post/82037381144/bruce-has-a-bone-to-pick-with-shield
> 
> And you'll notice most details within are consistent within the How Many Scientists... universe as well.
> 
> This was fun to write!

"Pretty sure those don't go up for a test flight today," Tony observes blandly, from his patio.

Tony Stark's 'patio' is almost a hundred stories above New York City street level, but it doesn't change how he uses it. Bruce is sure that some gossip rag somewhere tomorrow is going to feature yet another picture of Tony Stark scratching himself in his underwear.

"What doesn't-" Bruce begins to ask, following Tony's gaze.

Two massive, dark shapes rise slowly in the distance, squat and black and impossible looking. Far off on the left end of the horizon, two more have already risen. 

"Tony, are those-"

"Yeah," Tony answers, clipped.

"I thought they didn't-"

"They don't."

Bruce runs out of things to say. 

Tony watches for just a few seconds longer, lifting his coffee absently to his mouth and taking a long sip as he processes the information and possible scenarios that could lead to it in his mind. His free hand drums fingers absently against the center of his chest, where the Arc reactor once lived.

It's a nervous gesture.

"Jarvis, raise Fury and see if he can shine a little light on this fiasco," Tony commands, barely raising his voice and knowing he'll be heard. His eyes stay fixed on the slowly ascending ships.

Bruce isn't on the edge yet, so he stays pointedly settled in the chair he'd been occupying while he was eating breakfast. He can see that Tony is unsettled, and that wakes something green and heavy at the back of his mind.

There's something subtly off about the entire situation, but no one's punched the button for the Team to assemble yet, and several breaches of trust aside, Bruce at least trusts that Fury would call them before using... _those things_.

He's on the verge of accepting some sort of readiness drill to make sure they wouldn't explode - a possibility inherent in all Stark Tech, given Tony's propensity for distraction during crucial engineering moments - when Jarvis' voice utters a warning that stands all the hair up on the back of Bruce's neck. 

"Sir, the Helicarriers have established a target lock on your person, readying the Mark 22-"

Bruce is out of his seat without thinking about it, knocking over his breakfast, the ash tray, and his own coffee in his rush.

The red laser target is almost invisible in the daylight, little more than an ominous dot. Behind Tony, the suit Gantry is folding open as quickly as it can but Bruce takes the target on his own chest without thinking about it.

There's no weight to it.

Behind his awareness, the Hulk shifts, and his thoughts taste like a strange approval to Bruce. A readiness. This anger is no special brand, burning low and ready, even while he hears Tony's voice issuing steady commands, demanding information and cursing when he gets none.

"Inside," Tony orders, his mouth close to Bruce's ear.

Tony Stark is one of the few people who dares put his arms around Bruce's middle on a good day. Bruce is pretty sure he's the _only_ one who would do so in _this_ circumstance. There is a recurring sound in Bruce's ears that slowly grows in his awareness until he realizes it's his own voice repeating a dare for them to shoot.

He lets Tony drag him inside, and Tony grabs Pepper - who is already also on the phone. Stark shoves the three of them into the private elevator, and two minutes later they're in the heart of the Stark tower in a safe room somewhere hidden from schematics for continued safety, with Tony at work back hacking his own technology.

-

"Well," Tony assesses later, "That was a colossal waste."

Bruce allows that he's right, watching Tony pace his bedroom with a variety of simulated screens running news stories projected onto the walls by Jarvis. The damage at least was minimal - except to the brand new SHIELD tech, and SHIELD itself, of course.

"You don't think they could have noticed the super secret mega-Nazis infiltrating them at every level before they let me donate all those designs and equipment?"

He's taking it pretty well, Bruce thinks. Tony had never been too attached to the doomsday carriers, ultimately. He had done it to see if he could do it - and then when he'd finished, Bruce thought perhaps there had been a bit of regret. 

Bruce, personally, is exhausted. He hadn't gone full-on green rage monster, but being stuck in a metal cube that might have given even the Other Guy a little resistance, with the two people he'd least like to crush was a little tiring.

Tony settles onto his bed with Bruce and Pepper in a bouncing, frustrated motion. 

"So I guess is SHIELD is Nazis run by a zombie," Tony observes, laying back across two sets of legs. "I think someone, somewhere, isn't doing their job. Maybe it's Agent Galaga."

Pepper gets command of Tony's middle, which means his head winds up in Bruce's lap. 

"Should-" Bruce starts, and then he guesses he doesn't actually wanna know.

"You ask?" Tony guesses the end of his sentence - he usually does. "Probably not. Gonna put this one on Steve."

It's arbitrary, but in an appropriately Stark method.

"Tony," Pepper scolds, giving him a prod in the side.

Tony just tips his head and shrugs, his shoulders moving against Bruce's thigh, apparently done assigning blame with 'Steve Rogers'. He turns his attention up to Bruce.

"Thanks," he says, and Bruce strokes his fingers through Tony's hair. He pulls apart carefully gelled spikes as he tries to figure out what he's being thanked for this time.

"For... what?" Bruce finally gives in and asks.

Tony glances at Pepper, as if in disbelief, then back at Bruce. "How about shoving yourself - like your actual mega-attractive body between me and a giant space laser."

He pauses.

"The fact that I designed the space laser myself is secondary."

"Oh," Bruce had almost forgotten in the harrowing interim. "I didn't really think about it, Tony. Don't thank me, I was only hoping it would work."

Tony reaches up and tangles one hand in the collar of Bruce's shirt, grinning in a way that suggests it's going to be a long night.

"Yeah," Tony says. "It worked."

He drags Bruce down and kisses him, like Tony Stark always does when he's grateful.


End file.
